I Run.

I run.

I run because I'm training for the Monument Avenue 10K; a race I signed up for on my own volition.  No peer pressure this time.

I run because I'm trying to lose baby weight and nothing else has worked.  2 pregnancies, 2 daughters 16 months apart, and loving good food got me here-and my Mizuno running shoes will get me out.

I run because I miss my Dad.  He faced challenges his whole life.  If he can beat his past and one heart attack (the second one not so much) and lung cancer, I can certainly beat the pavement and take just one more step...for  him; get to one more streetlight-make it one more mile.  I'll never have one more of anything with him, and I can't change that.  I can, however, run.

I run because it's a challenge for me.  Being able to burst through the door and yell, "I did it!" even if it's just to myself, brings me joy.  Scooping up my daughters as they run to hug and congratulate me is permanently etched on my brain-and will force me out the door again tomorrow.

I run because my life is far from perfect.  It's my stress-relief now.  3 months ago it was a stress-inducer...the irony.  When the gray cloud of situational depression lurks, or sadness over things I can't control threatens to glue me to the sofa with chick flicks and a carton of ice cream, I just run.

I run because I'm not perfect, nor do I want to be.  My mind needs clearing, my heart needs mending, my body needs toning, and I just need air!  Fresh air!  I need to see the beauty God has put before me in the form of a budding tree, a crocus pushing through the frozen ground-a friend who waves as she drives by as I run.  All of it, all of it, is therapeutic...and I need it.

I run because it gives me back the confidence I'd let slip away for so long.  I'm challenging myself and kicking those challenges in the shins.  I'm pushing myself to go farther-faster-longer...and I'm doing it!  I'm going farther, faster, and longer!  I'm in control when I run-not the weather, the time or anything or anybody else.  This is me time; time I need to get myself back to who I used to be.

I run because I need a break...a break from cleaning, worrying, talking, feeling, planning, driving, cooking, defending and compromising my needs and what I deserve.

I run.