There comes a time in every stay-at-home mom's day where the stars align, the dishwasher and washing machine softly hum their tune in harmony, and the whining grows silent. That's right...I'm talking about NAP TIME. The solace that nap time brings is unrivaled by anything else. No matter how cute your children are, how much light they bring to your life, lights out time is something we look forward to, and sometimes long for, on a daily basis.
So, when said nap time is rudely interrupted, or, far worse, boycotted by a loud toddler who talks more than you do, it's earth shattering - to say the least. How on earth am I supposed to think clearly while checking Facebook, email, and posting to my blog with the sound of a 2 year old's heels banging on the floor reverberating in my middle ear? She's sick, I'm sick, and we both need to nap; she needs to nap so she doesn't whine all afternoon, and I need to nap so I don't lose my mind when any little mishap occurs before Daddy comes home from work/hunting/butchering deer. Seriously...I'm not ready for her to totally give up her afternoon nap, but I think I'm alone in this fight.
So, as I try to finish up this blog post and work on the family photo calendar, I'll try to make the best of the soundtrack that my lovely daughter is providing on this gorgeous afternoon. (See...I'm thinking positive. For now.)
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Friday, November 4, 2011
We are Under Attack
"Don't look now, but there are gigantic vultures on your roof. Don't let the kids out to play by themselves."
That post on my Facebook wall, or something to that effect, started my day. Lordy, Lordy! After dealing with the dead deer a mere 48 hours ago, I'm just not ready for this kind of natural experience. After loitering on my roof for who knows how long, they descended upon some decaying creature in the creek bed in front of my house. Secretly, I am, at this point, hoping it's that darn cat we've exiled. Sadly, I see said cat on the back deck and my hopes are dashed.
Now, I had no idea the turkey buzzards were on the roof to begin with. Normally I have bat-like hearing. Apparently, my ears failed me this morning, for I didn't hear their claws on the roof or any sort of noise they may have made. Can you imagine what my neighbors must have thought? I'll tell you...they think we're crazy. It's not good to be the talk of the neighborhood, especially when that discussion is caused by a scene out of the Hitchcock movie "Birds." Seeing giant, black birds swooping in front of my windows, my curiosity got the best of me, and I looked out the window. Wrong move. That's when I finally saw the 10 turkey buzzards waddling around my front yard. I've never seen such large birds! They could eat my kids for sure! Unable to peel my eyes off the fiasco, I observed the activities of the buzzards; they swooped into the ditch and back into the trees with a wingspan I can't even begin to estimate except to say that it was WIIIIDE. Thank goodness for whatever it was that spooked them that finally got them out of my yard...at least for now.
So, after dealing with the deer the other night and now these nasty, giant birds this morning, I'm about to change my name, cover my house with a giant tarp, and not come out until Spring.
That post on my Facebook wall, or something to that effect, started my day. Lordy, Lordy! After dealing with the dead deer a mere 48 hours ago, I'm just not ready for this kind of natural experience. After loitering on my roof for who knows how long, they descended upon some decaying creature in the creek bed in front of my house. Secretly, I am, at this point, hoping it's that darn cat we've exiled. Sadly, I see said cat on the back deck and my hopes are dashed.
Now, I had no idea the turkey buzzards were on the roof to begin with. Normally I have bat-like hearing. Apparently, my ears failed me this morning, for I didn't hear their claws on the roof or any sort of noise they may have made. Can you imagine what my neighbors must have thought? I'll tell you...they think we're crazy. It's not good to be the talk of the neighborhood, especially when that discussion is caused by a scene out of the Hitchcock movie "Birds." Seeing giant, black birds swooping in front of my windows, my curiosity got the best of me, and I looked out the window. Wrong move. That's when I finally saw the 10 turkey buzzards waddling around my front yard. I've never seen such large birds! They could eat my kids for sure! Unable to peel my eyes off the fiasco, I observed the activities of the buzzards; they swooped into the ditch and back into the trees with a wingspan I can't even begin to estimate except to say that it was WIIIIDE. Thank goodness for whatever it was that spooked them that finally got them out of my yard...at least for now.
So, after dealing with the deer the other night and now these nasty, giant birds this morning, I'm about to change my name, cover my house with a giant tarp, and not come out until Spring.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
It was THAT kind of day
To fully comprehend the end of this little story, you must, first and foremost, know that I do NOT like nature. (See previous post...Not a Nature Girl.) During a fun trip with friends to Smith Mountain Lake, a tiny black snake slithered into the kitchen while I was in there getting beverages for everyone, and I pointed at it screaming, "Nature, Nature" at the top of my lungs while simultaneously jumping on the nearest chair. (I did not spill a single drop of adult beverage though!) Before my husband and I got married, I ate venison one time and about puked. I've never seen a dead animal up close and was just fine with that. Do you get how much I dislike nature? OK. Now I can continue.
The day started like every other...get up before the girls, shower, make breakfast and lunch, etc. Then, it went right down the drain.
-both girls cried or whined during the entire ride to preschool (20 minutes)
-drove 10 minutes out of my way to patron a new, snazzy grocery store only to find I'd left my wallet at home. This also means no Starbucks, which I'd been craving all morning. Now I've got a decision to make...get wallet and go grocery shopping at the nasty local store, or postpone that activity in favor of my daily hour-long walk. Ugh. I get cranky when I don't exercise.
-decide to go home to get wallet and get groceries
-ketchup falls out of cart and top breaks. Deli counter employee sees the whole thing, so I can't stealthily switch out defective ketchup with a new one.
-ONE checkout line open for the whole store...baby starts crying her liver out b/c now she's an hour past bottle time
-get home, open tailgate, bag with ketchup falls out onto concrete below...buh-bye ketchup.
-go pick up oldest at preschool and get her very first bad report - hitting and pushing her school buddies. ARGH! Discussion with teacher lasts too long, get home for naptime very late.
-pull into driveway, after listening to baby crying and toddler whining (yet again) and get a call from a friend who would like to stop by on her way to an appt. SURE!
-late naptime results in NO NAP for either girl...subsequent weeping and gnashing of teeth ensues...decide to go for that hour long walk...with iPod to drown out the noise.
-while taking double stroller out of car, I break both thumb nails below the quick...blood everywhere, now sporting twin Dora bandaids.
-while putting the oldest down for bed, husband finally comes home from hunting with blood all over his pants. "Do you want me to rock her to give you a break?" Me: "Not in those pants. Go change and you can take over." Husband: "I need you to help me with something, so I can't change my pants yet." CRAP. All I wanted to do after this hellacious day was take a nice, long, hot shower and drink a beer while watching something mind numbing on TV. Apparently my husband has other plans for me...think back to my dislike of all things nature-related.
I come downstairs from finally getting the toddler in her bed, and I immediately wish I had just stayed upstairs. My husband trudges into the garage dragging a deer by the antlers, creating a blood trail I've seen only on TV shows with CSI or SVU in the title. He cuts part of its leg and puts a rope thought the hole. Then he says to me, "I need you to help me hang him." Um-excuse me? "Just hold the rope tight when I lift him up." Meanwhile, I can't stop staring at its face...it's staring back at me and its tongue is sticking out of the side of its mouth. Like passing by a car accident, I just can't look away! Well, this "quick" event took almost an hour: the deer was too heavy for the hook in the garage and the hook broke, and it took us 30 minutes of creating more blood trails all over the driveway and yard trying to figure out where to hang the dead guy before finally deciding on our pergola in the backyard. So, instead of ending my "awesome" day with a relaxing shower and a beer, I ended up bloody and even more irritated. On the plus side, my helpfulness won me brownie points with my husband and all his huntin' buddies.
The day started like every other...get up before the girls, shower, make breakfast and lunch, etc. Then, it went right down the drain.
-both girls cried or whined during the entire ride to preschool (20 minutes)
-drove 10 minutes out of my way to patron a new, snazzy grocery store only to find I'd left my wallet at home. This also means no Starbucks, which I'd been craving all morning. Now I've got a decision to make...get wallet and go grocery shopping at the nasty local store, or postpone that activity in favor of my daily hour-long walk. Ugh. I get cranky when I don't exercise.
-decide to go home to get wallet and get groceries
-ketchup falls out of cart and top breaks. Deli counter employee sees the whole thing, so I can't stealthily switch out defective ketchup with a new one.
-ONE checkout line open for the whole store...baby starts crying her liver out b/c now she's an hour past bottle time
-get home, open tailgate, bag with ketchup falls out onto concrete below...buh-bye ketchup.
-go pick up oldest at preschool and get her very first bad report - hitting and pushing her school buddies. ARGH! Discussion with teacher lasts too long, get home for naptime very late.
-pull into driveway, after listening to baby crying and toddler whining (yet again) and get a call from a friend who would like to stop by on her way to an appt. SURE!
-late naptime results in NO NAP for either girl...subsequent weeping and gnashing of teeth ensues...decide to go for that hour long walk...with iPod to drown out the noise.
-while taking double stroller out of car, I break both thumb nails below the quick...blood everywhere, now sporting twin Dora bandaids.
-while putting the oldest down for bed, husband finally comes home from hunting with blood all over his pants. "Do you want me to rock her to give you a break?" Me: "Not in those pants. Go change and you can take over." Husband: "I need you to help me with something, so I can't change my pants yet." CRAP. All I wanted to do after this hellacious day was take a nice, long, hot shower and drink a beer while watching something mind numbing on TV. Apparently my husband has other plans for me...think back to my dislike of all things nature-related.
I come downstairs from finally getting the toddler in her bed, and I immediately wish I had just stayed upstairs. My husband trudges into the garage dragging a deer by the antlers, creating a blood trail I've seen only on TV shows with CSI or SVU in the title. He cuts part of its leg and puts a rope thought the hole. Then he says to me, "I need you to help me hang him." Um-excuse me? "Just hold the rope tight when I lift him up." Meanwhile, I can't stop staring at its face...it's staring back at me and its tongue is sticking out of the side of its mouth. Like passing by a car accident, I just can't look away! Well, this "quick" event took almost an hour: the deer was too heavy for the hook in the garage and the hook broke, and it took us 30 minutes of creating more blood trails all over the driveway and yard trying to figure out where to hang the dead guy before finally deciding on our pergola in the backyard. So, instead of ending my "awesome" day with a relaxing shower and a beer, I ended up bloody and even more irritated. On the plus side, my helpfulness won me brownie points with my husband and all his huntin' buddies.
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